Posted: August 19th, 2022

BW 10 Revise Your Introduction Due: Wed Aug 17, 2022 11:59pmDue: Wed Aug 17, 202

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BW 10 Revise Your Introduction
Due: Wed Aug 17, 2022 11:59pmDue: Wed Aug 17, 2022 11:59pm
Ungraded, 20 Possible Points
20 Possible Points
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Attempt 1
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Please follow the guidelines and example on the Academic Introduction handout (and posted below) to revise your Essay 2 Introduction. They can always become better and it wise to revise the introduction after your essay develops more so you can frame what it actually says. A good intro takes time, but pays dividends!
On the assignment you submit:
Paste your current essay publish introduction. Bold your current thesis claim or note that you don’t have a thesis.
Revise your introduction by applying the concepts and emulating the example from the handout. Add a fitting 学术标题 (Links to an external site.) that fits your introduction and essay.
Paste your revised introduction. Bold your revised thesis claim.
Write a paragraph explaining what you changed and why.
Effective Introductions Snapshot: The introduction, or opening act of your essay is very important because it brings your reader into your subject and makes a first impression on your reader. Essentially, it’s your opportunity to either engage a reader’s interest, or engender their alienation. The introduction to an academic essay serves multiple purposes. Specifically, an effective introduction will:
* Define your topic — the issue, question, the text, or problem — and say why it matters
* Indicate your method or direction of approach to the topic or offers a relatable example
* Provide background information or context necessary readers to understand the issue
* Offer the specific thesis that your essay will work to develop and support
Imagine your introduction as a funnel shaped coil. The beginning is a general introduction to your topic. Your focus then narrows, and culminates in a thesis statement. This thesis makes an arguable claim about the topic you are addressing in your essay. It’s important to begin publishing with a working thesis, and your thesis will evolve as you write your essay. As you analyze evidence, your ideas will likely become more complex, and your thesis must change in order to account for this increased complexity.
Thesis: A thesis is basically an assertion or contention about a particular topic: a strong thesis makes an evaluative or interpretive claim about your topic. When writing an academic essay, your thesis will assert your reasonable stance, or viewpoint, on a particular issue. The body of your essay then shows readers that your thesis is reasonable by analyzing specific evidence and showing why your claim is supportable. Each paragraph in your essay should work to support some aspect of your essay’s overall thesis. One of the last revisions you should make is to make sure your thesis accounts for the ideas you put forth in your essay.
Sample Introduction and Thesis Statements:
The Downside of Selfie Culture: Unintended Consequences for Teen’s Curating Life
Note how the Funnel Coil moves from general to specific and culminates in a thesis claim that indicates what the essay will address:
Instagram. Snapchat. Twitter. Facebook. Social Media apps like these are widely accessible and their usage has grown exponentially as people seek ways to stay connected, especially during the global COVID-19 lockdowns. People of all ages utilize social media platforms to stay current with friends and family, but increasingly the medium is particularly tailored to teenagers’ desire for social connection, interaction, and acceptance. It is customary for many teens to widely share their experiences as quickly as they happen, posting pictures of themselves visiting enviable locations, experiencing exciting situations, socializing with groups of happy-looking people, or indulging in tantalizing cuisine. The practice of taking and posting these flattering self-portraits has come to be collectively known as “selfie culture.” While seemingly fun and harmless, these seemingly spontaneous photos are often carefully staged, and the implicit purpose of posting these curated-but-casual-looking shots is to garner public approval and social validation through getting numerous likes, comments, and retweets. This approval seeking aspect of selfie culture makes the practice worthy of a closer look, especially when research shows that some individuals are particularly vulnerable to becoming addicted to the fleeting external validation it offers. Within this selfie culture, public feedback is not always positive, and vulnerable approval seekers can just as often be bombarded with criticism, rejection, and hate that can have dire consequences for mental health. While selfie culture and social media appear to be harmless avenues for digital sharing and virtual connection, a closer analysis reveals that the activity can become an unhealthy obsession that lead to increased social anxiety and decreased self esteem.
Topic + Assertion = Thesis. Some Examples What Not To Do in an Academic Thesis Statement:
My topic will be selfie culture and social media’s impact on teens’ self-esteem. Feedback: Don’t just tell readers what you will do, but show them by doing it.
In this essay I will analyze the mental health consequences of selfie culture for teenagers. Feedback: Don’t announce your essay’s intended topic, but make a claim about its significance that your essay will unpack.
There are positive and negative aspects to selfie culture. Feedback: Don’t use such general language that it really says nothing. Instead, make a claim about what aspects of your topics might appear positive but can skew negative, or appear negative but actually have specific positive impacts as well.
Nowadays the teenagers spend too much time posting selfies and this causes a great deal of psychological harm to the youth of today. Feedback: Tone matters. This writer sounds grumpy, judgmental, and out of touch, like an old person who sees the current generation “nowadays” as lacking compared to “the good old days.” This undermines their credibility and alienates their readers.
Have you ever wondered if posting selfies have negative effects? Come along with me as we explore this complex issue! Feedback: A claim is an assertion, not a rhetorical question or an invitation to go on a guided tour of your topic.
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